


Our Love is Not Forgiveness

by Brorifles (Kyloisadisneyprincess)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anger, Angst and Feels, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Guilt, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:11:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12003765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyloisadisneyprincess/pseuds/Brorifles
Summary: Zeb and Kallus are both frustrated after a botched supply run. This small instance of guilty feelings and blame laying undermines their carefully constructed peace, the foundation of which relies on them never speaking of their intertwined pasts.A wall comes crashing down and in the rubble they find yet another cause of guilt: their feelings for each other despite everything. Honor demands that they remain at odds but, like supplies, a beautiful partner is hard to come by during the busyness of war.





	Our Love is Not Forgiveness

“You!” Zeb fumes “Were supposed to stay back until I was done securing the warehouse security information from our contact!” 

“There were some unsavory characters eyeing you.” Kallus retorts coldly.

“We were in a bar full of thieves and smugglers! The whole lot was ‘unsavory’” Zeb can’t believe Kallus’s stupidity. As soon as the rodian informer saw Kallus’s signature facial hair he had cut and run. “And you know I’m not exactly your run of the mill patron, not many Lasat around today.” Kallus looks as though he’s been slapped but Zeb doesn’t care. It would be hard for Kallus to come back from that one. They didn’t complete their mission and Zeb’s hungry. Anything is fair game right now.  “and I could have taken out anyone in the place of course I’m going to get looks.” Zeb adds it’s a pitiful cover up and it weakens his argument. 

“They were not looking at you like that.” Kallus huffs and crosses his arms.

“Look, I shouldn’t have brought up Lasan, alright! But that doesn’t mean you get to deny it.” 

“No, I meant they weren’t noticing you as a threat.” Kallus gulps and looks away “several had other things in mind.”

“What things?”

“You know!” Kallus Kallus half shouts in exasperation before turning away and muttering “You're handsome. So, things.”  He turns to leave but Zeb grabs his shoulder to hold him back. 

Touching Kallus was a mistake. They are already both on edge and Zeb takes offense at his hand being shoved away. He has Kallus by the collar of his shirt now. Kallus is trying to kick his legs out from under him vainly. Zeb grabs hold of the grate of the ghost’s floor with his feet. He can’t let go fast enough to stop himself from toppling when Kallus Grabs him by the beard and throws them forward. 

This time it’s Kallus who isn’t quick enough. Zeb pins both his arms with one hand and takes a fist of loose hair in the other. Kallus is panting. His lower lip is swelling from where he busted it in the fall. He’s flush, they are too close, his lips are even more red now and wet. Zeb can’t remember why he needed to stop Kallus from leaving.

“You think I’m handsome.” Zeb accuses.

“You started this fight because you’re vain?!?”  He exhales in frustration. 

The real reason clicks. “I started this fight because I wanted to hear you say you were jealous.” Zeb feels strangely to righteous for someone who is pinning a man for a suggestion. “I wanted to know that you know that you have less of a chance at having me than any of those ‘unsavory characters’ back in that bar.” It’s too late for him to stop now. “I wanted you to know that we are not friends! and that you don’t get to show concern for me just to cover up your guilt for what you did!” with this Zeb un hooks his fingers from Kallus’s hair and slams his fist down on the deck plates just shy of his face. 

Kallus flinches. Zeb sits up and shoves him away.

“You don’t get to make it up to me.” Zeb says quietly now, ashamed of his actions.

“Acknowledged.” Kallus responds in rote from where he’s pressed himself knees tucked in against the bulkhead. “And you don’t get to be angry with yourself for recruiting me.” Kallus adds. “I know It was a mistake. I know you want me too.” Zeb whips his head around. There is no careful silence that can undo this. 

“I feel like I’m betraying them.” 

“Our friendship is not an apology, so our love is not forgiveness.” Kallus says it simply as if he’s solving an equation. But it doesn’t cure Zeb’s hesitation about taking comfort from the body of an enemy. Only...they're not enemies any longer. There’s no way to change their pasts, but they can change their future.

Zeb holds out his hand. Kallus is not reluctant in taking it. Their fingers intertwine. The emotions of what they have are difficult but this is simple. In theory they should fit together harmoniously in all the places two bodies should. Zeb stands pulling Kallus with him and they kiss for the first time.

It’s awkward. Zeb could probably fit Kallus’s whole head in his mouth if he really wanted to. They fumble. Kallus’s nose is in the way. Niether of them know exactly where to put their hands. It’s a mess, you would never guess that they are two experienced men in their forties. Kallus breaks their excuse for kissing when their teeth final click too hard. 

“Bunk?” Zeb suggests. It surprising how turned on they both are considering that this day hasn’t gone so well. Kallus agrees and lets himself be led into Zeb’s room. The ghost is empty with the rest of the crew gone on a mission better suited to the gauntlet's low profile. They sit and Zeb opts to attack Kallus’s exposed neck with his tongue. 

“It’s indecent you know.” 

“What?” Kallus pulls back to ask.

“Your shirt. It shows your neck.” Zeb explains. “ Your old uniform had at least a tiny bit of a collar. It used to drive me crazy. And then this.” He says pulling at Kallus’s shirt with his thumb and forefinger. The tight material snaps back and Kallus looks at him slyly. 

“Take it off.”

Zeb balks “are you sure?” he didn’t know how far Kallus would be willing to go after his display in the hall. But then he hadn’t expected that Kallus would have anything to do with him at all after that. Maybe they need to have a talk about his self preservation. Kallus doesn’t speak, only moves to shrug of his jacket. Zeb gulps. The shirt is next Zeb untucks it and brings it smoothly over Kallus’s head.

Zeb tosses it away and tries to pause to look Kallus over but Kallus is already trying to fiddle with his gauntlets. Zeb unclasps them easily and goes for Kallus’s belt and holster after settling for a quick peck to his shoulder. This is shaping up to be a mad dash. Kallus shakes as he tries to pull off his boots. Zeb succeeds in removing the belt and it clatters to the floor below. 

Zeb can’t arch back far enough to reach the fastening to his jumpsuit without standing. It and his knee guards can come off at the same time but he’s loathe to leave the heat of Kallus’s body for even a few seconds. He kisses a quick trail down Kallus’s stomach before rising. 

“Take your pants off.” 

Zeb reaches to remove his own clothing  and doing so brings him up to his full height. Kallus is mesmerized waiting expectantly before realizing he still has to shuck his own pants. When he looks back Zeb is bare except for his briefs and bending over to unclasp the bits of armor he wears around his knees. 

Kallus wants to be patient but Zeb is clearly struggling. His hands shake as he tries to undo the clasps . It’s comforting to know that Zeb is just as excited and afraid as he is. Kallus’s body is thrumming at the prospect of pleasure.

“Come over here.” He demands. Zeb is only frustrating himself. Kallus saw him take off the gauntlets if they're anything alike then… There! Kallus lets the first one drop to the floor in his rush to get to the next. Zeb towers over him leaning one arm on the bunk above and Kallus suddenly realizes the proximity of his face to Zeb’s crotch. He works slowly on the second knee guard and innocently lowers it to the floor allowing him to lean in closer and nuzzle at Zeb’s engorged cock where it lies hidden beneath his last remaining layer. 

Zeb lets out a gasp when he feels Kallus’s face press into him. He looks down to find Kallus inhaling.  _ Karabast.  _ Zeb lowers himself so he can slip into the bunk beside him. He wraps his arms around Kallus and presses their heads together.  

“May I?” Kallus asks.

Zeb shifts and lifts his hip to allow Kallus room to remove his undergarment. His cock is a dark lavender shade, rosy and wet at the tip. Kallus discards the article and takes Zebs erection in hand. He presses against the bundle of nerves below the tip before moving up to collect the bead of pre-cum resting on the slit and spreading it down the shaft. Zeb moans and grips at Kallus’s thighs. 

“You too.” he breaths out and Kallus helps him roll the offending article over his hips. Kallus hadn’t even taken into consideration that Zeb might be disappointed until he saw them side by side. Kallus’s own pink erection is little in comparison but Zeb gives no hint that he is concerned. 

“Come here.” Zeb says pulling Kallus on top of him and gripping both thier cocks in one hand. He lies back and reaches for lube in the compartment below the bunk. He doles some out into his palm and looks curiously at Kallus when he holds out a hand but complies. Zeb returns to their leaking cocks and strokes them together. His other hand is in Kallus’s ruffled hair.

Kallus Kisses Zeb’s neck and wonders if it’s posible to suck a bruise through Zeb’s fur. He’s going to try. One of his arms if on Zeb’s chest. He moves it to the side of Zeb’s head and tries to support himself as he reaches back to find his entrance. Zeb watches Kallus fuck himself open. It’s probably been a while Kallus doesn’t seem like the type to have one time flings with strangers or to leave a long time lover at the mercy of the empire. Zeb listens to the wet sounds  as Kallus adds finger after finger until only the two smallest are left. It’s completely unnecessary but it looks as though it feels good. Zeb realizes that He’s stopped stroking them and so does Kallus. He looks up from where his face is pressed into Zeb’s neck.

“Fuck me?”

“Yes” Zeb agrees and the shift so Kallus Can straddle him. 

Zeb’s wide girth burns as Kallus slowly tries to shift downward to accommodate it.  It will fit; it will just take time. Zeb’s mouth is open his breathing frantic as he forces himself to stay still. Finally Kallus is fully seated. There is a pleasantly firm fullness and he rocks back and forth slightly testing his own readiness.

“Alright.” he finally consents and Zeb moves his hips up like a firing blaster.

_ Thunk!  _

“Kriff!” Kallus shouts. 

Neither of their minds had exactly been on the logistics of doing this in a bunk. Kallus rubs the back of his head and Zeb pulls him down, concerned. 

“Are you alright?” 

Kallus can only laugh. “I’m fine, don’t stop.”

Zeb decides that it’s a better bet to hold  Kallus against his chest as he thrusts. He grips at the mattress with his feet and sets a brutal pace. Kallus moans with every motion. His ass feels so hot and tight around Zeb’s cock. 

“Is this good?” Zeb asks.

“Sooo good.” Kallus responds “ Harder.” Zeb picks up his pace. “No, Harder.” Kallus instructs “Not faster.” Leave it to Kallus to be a picky fuck. Zeb snaps his hips so forcefully that the small of his back lifts off of the bed. Kallus screams and Zeb repeats until he can no longer steady himself  and  his body seems to spring apart under the pleasure. He pulls out leaving a trail of come slipping down Kallus’s thighs. 

Kallus moans at the loss and Zeb flips them over. He takes Kallus’s cock in his fist and stokes while lapping under the head. Soon Kallus releases spilling over Zebs fist onto his own stomach.  

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Zebs body is warm and fuzzy beside him when Kallus snaps awake the morning after. He slept well and Zeb snores contentedly beside him. He quickly realizes that Zeb is a deep sleeper a smile guiltily sneaks onto his face. Zeb must have had a gentle childhood. Lasan was peaceful even during the clone war. They had a complex military tradition yes, but Kallus wonders when Zeb first saw battle. Maybe he’ll ask someday.

The skin on the underside of Zeb’s hands lacks his short downy fur. Kallus toys with the fleshy pad of each relaxed finger,ghosting over them with two or three of his own much smaller digits he notes that Zeb is dehydrated. He leans back, presses his face into Zeb’s shoulder and breaths. Zeb’s hand twitches and the snoring stops. He lifts his head up just enough to peer over the massive bicep and is met with thin slits of Zeb’s green eyes studying him. There is a mirth there. Something Kallus hasn’t seen much of yet. This taste makes him want more.

Kallus clears his throat “ Good morning.”

“Is it?” Zeb asks tentatively. Kallus doesn’t know what he means. He was pleased with their coupling last night, and pleased again when he was allowed to stay in Zeb’s bed. “You look like you slept… rough.” Zeb clarifies.” You...” He leaves off trying to explain, shaking his head. His fingers curl around Kallus’s, clench, and unclench. 

“I don’t understand. Do you want me to go?” he’s embarrassed, maybe he read this wrong. Maybe, Zeb isn’t into him when he’s looking his worst. He one handedly tries to straighten his hair and rub the sleep from his eyes. He can do better. Force he’s wanted this. 

“No.” Zeb answers. “I mean, you could.” He clears his throat and sits up pulling the blankets with him. “Should you get looked at? How's your head?”

Kallus pulls himself up so that he’s sitting level with Zeb and then he notices the ache. Was he more injured than he realized yesterday? Tender red and purple bruises have blossomed across Kallus’s body. They look worse than they feel and the real issue is that he’s strained some muscles in his back from over stretching trying to steal kisses from Zeb after they fucked last night. Even still Zeb’s concern is unfounded. 

“Some of these are old,” Kallus shrugs. “And they’re just bruises, not a large concern.”

“Oh. You can see all of yours not just the ones that are bad.” Zeb’s face lights up. “I’ve never thought about that.” He grabs and lifts one of Kallus’s legs to give a closer inspection.

“These really are not that special. They can be all different colors blue, green, yellow.” Kallus adds, relaxing back into the bunk. Zeb is interested in him. Even if it’s for a strange reason, still, the attention feels good.

“Ok,” Zeb eyes him warily. “Now you’re joking with me.”

“What? I’m not!”

“I dunno you sound convincing but with all that secret agent practice…”

Kallus rolls his eye at that before settling into a smirk. He’s being led on, by Zeb of all people. He’ll have to offer to let Zeb check on his bruises personally tomorrow, and maybe the next day, and the day after that. 

“Maybe you’d like to see for yourself.” Kallus rests his ankle on Zeb’s shoulder and Zeb takes the opportunity to gently trace a blemish on Kallus’s inner thigh.

“If you’re offering.” Zeb replies. His voice has dropped, confidence regained. 

“I am.”

Zeb presses his lips to the inside of Kallus’s knee and looks at him again, eyes half lidded with lust. Kallus wraps his other leg behind Zeb’s torso and uses it to pull himself up. He’s definitely not flexible enough for this but it doesn’t matter that his body aches in complaint. He feels so much warmth in the pit of his stomach. He is not close enough to Zeb. 

“Kriff.” Zeb gasps, his ears flicking forward. 

Kallus leans in bringing their bodies flush against one another, nuzzling and nipping at Zebs neck. Zeb growls and pushes Kallus back down against the bunk. Kallus extends his arms to stroke Zeb’s thighs, the only thing within his reach now, only to have his arms quickly pushed away and placed firmly at either side of his head.

“Be patient, I want to have a chance to enjoy looking at you this time.” Zeb says.

_ This time _ . The second time. Maybe Zeb like Kallus is planning on doing this again and again. Zeb’s large hands stroke down Kallus’s sides, so light that the friction between the palms of Zeb’s hands and his own rarely touched skin tickles. This isn’t what they had last night. Kallus can’t remember a time when anyone was so reverent of his body. At the juncture between Kallus’s hips and thighs Zeb’s hands pause and squeeze gently before following the trail of hair in line with his navel back up to fan out over his pectorals. At this point Zeb ceases his symmetric exploration and leans over Kallus to get a better view.  

With one hand still on his chest Zeb threads the other through Kallus’s hair. Kallus guesses that turning his face to press his lips to Zeb’s palm still counts as being patient enough. Zeb lets out a contented hum as Kallus breaths in his scent. 

“Aah ah! Ah!” Kallus yelps in surprise. “NO, don’t.” He regrets breaking the reverie but he doesn’t like how Zeb is rolling his nipple between the claws of his thumb and fore finger.  Zeb relents immediately.

“Well that’s no good. Sorry.” Zeb responds. “Are they off limits?” 

Kallus pauses for a moment thinking. 

“Just not so hard.” He asks. Zeb looking down abashed traces a line over Kallus’s collarbone.“Your… mouth maybe. No teeth.” Kallus clarifies. Zeb grins wickedly at this and takes Kallus’s hands in his own with purpose.

“Ok,” He says bringing Kallus’s hands to rest on his own chest “but you.” he commands “Pinch as hard as you like.” Kallus swallows, they had a lot to learn about each other. 

Zeb dips his head to lave at Kallus’s other, un-abused nipple. His tongue and the warmth of his mouth feel good, but not as good as the little gasping breaths that correspond to kallus squeezing Zeb’s own dark purple buds. 

It’s not enough and eventually Kallus’s hands wander lower to caress the tip of Zeb’s cock. Zeb’s hips keep shifting though and he’s hardly any help from where he’s suckeling a new bruise into Kallus’s shoulder. The haphazard touches he does manage to land only worsen the condition, tease Zeb into a state of even less control. He needs help, they haven’t yet discovered how to fit their bodies together perfectly. It might not even be possible. But what does it matter? they are here and their needs align accurately enough.

“Zeb.” Kallus tries. “Zeb, I can’t reach when you move away.” 

The only response is a shuddering moan but Zeb comprehends bringing his hips to a still, heavy cock resting snugly next to the smaller erection between Kallus’s thighs. Kallus reaches both hands down to stroke at himself and Zeb in tandem. Zeb is busy trying to compose himself by nuzzling into Kallus’s hair and breathing deeply. 

It isn’t working.

“Kriffing hell.” Zeb says sitting up suddenly. He breaths and exhales once, twice. Kallus is staring up at him a complete and rosy ruin. He licks his lips. The full view of Zeb is impressive. “I want...I want…”

“So eloquent.” Kallus teases. Why had Zeb pulled them apart just as things were getting good?

Zeb growls “I want you to finger me like you did to yourself last night, fuck me hard and then I want to come in your smart mouth.”

“Ok then, lube?” Kallus agrees and Zeb’s ears snap forward again partly because of Kallus’s casual response to a suggestion so bold and partly because  _ Is this happening? _                                                Apparently so. 

Zeb rummages around looking for wherever the lube ended up after their romp last night. He finds it and excitedly hands it over. If there was one thing that might benefit from Kallus’s type A personality and critical attention to detail this was it. Zeb can’t remember the last time he had a thorough fuck. 

He lies back and lets Kallus spread his thighs wide. Kallus uncaps the lube and slowly thumbs around Zeb’s puckered entrance. There is a certain point where his short velvety fur stops and gives way to smooth lavender skin, now glistening as Kallus teases and massages lube along the border of Zeb’s hole. He’s gentle and steady as he slips the first digit in, moving in practiced circular motions. Zeb wanted this after he watched Kallus open himself. The amount of care he took was just shy of luxurious. Another finger slides in beside the first there is a slight burning sensation this time and Zeb gasps covering his mouth with palm. 

“Pain?” Kallus asks.

“N...no.” Zeb stutters in reply but Kallus has already withdrawn and is adding more lube.  _ Wasteful _ Zeb thinks. It had only been a bit of discomfort. But whatever Kallus does he does it well, and withholds nothing. He slips back in as far as he is able and tenderly strokes Zeb’s insides. 

“How about now?” he asks.

“More, more.” Zeb demands shakily. “I’m ready.” 

“I want to be thorough.” Kallus objects slipping in a third finger. He knows it’s not necessary and is possibly even more cumbersome than fucking Zeb outright. But this is what Zeb said he wanted.

“Damn you! This is not an investigation.” Zeb adds desperately. Kallus is unaffected by Zeb’s urgency and continues to fuck Zeb on his fingers, the mess of lube squelches in the silence. “Your cock isn’t even that big!” Kalus raises one dispassionate eyebrow. “I won’t even feel it if you keep this up!” Zeb tries again. Kallus merely smiles and huffs before taking mercy on Zeb and slicking himself up. He brings their bodies into alignment. Zeb’s hips buck up but are quickly stilled.

The first push in feels like the longest moment but the next few thrust are like flashes of light.  Kallus sets a steady pace for them of course but Zebs rolling hips threaten to throw him off at every opportunity. The tension building in his lower body feels good. Zebs legs wrap around Kallus and he simultaneously wants them to be wedged together forever and can’t resist the smooth slide of Kallus’s cock withdrawing. And they repeat and repeat and repeat until the structures of their bodies themselves seem to quiver under the forces of pleasure, until they can stand no more and everything comes crashing to an inevitable end. 

Kallus comes first but Zeb is so close and neither imminent nor current ecstasy can clear their heads of the plan.  _ I want to come in your smart mouth. _ Kallus descends with the same easy acceptance as before onto Zeb’s throbbing erection. All semblance of tenderness is gone only the sloppy warmth of a too small mouth on a too large cock. Wet pops of released suction and a continuous string of moans garbled by need resound. Their bodies are different in both state and form and yet they echo each other. A smart mouth also proves to be a clever mouth and before long sticky white ropes spring out onto Kallus’s waiting tongue, over his lips, and down his chin.

The tension in Zeb’s body releases and slow reverent observation resumes. Zeb forces one eye open to look at Kallus, haphazardly trying to locate all of the stray come that didn’t quite make it into his mouth. They are sleepy again and sated. 

“Come here.” Zeb beckons to Kallus. Kallus looks up from where he was lazily tracing a stripe on Zeb’s stomach. He goes obediently and settles into the crook of the arm that he woke in and feels suddenly and certainly that he has found home. 

**Author's Note:**

> My first truly porny porn. Yay! 
> 
> Come visit me on tumblr @brorifles


End file.
